My friend James Slusser once said his German-American family would eat pork sauerkraut on New Year’s Day. They believed this tradition brings wealth to the household. One night I had leftover kimchi — known as Korean sauerkraut — so I decided to make kimchi pork at 1 a.m. Maybe my stock portfolio will triple in value!
- Half a jar of leftover kimchi
- 2 lb. Pork shoulder roast
- 3 Garlic cloves, cut into halves
- 5 Cup Beef broth
- Seaweed sheet, torn into quarters
- Japanese udon
- Hard-boiled egg, cut into halves
Improvising Kimchi Pork
That night, I must have had a few drinks at the bar. There’s no other explanation as to why I would start cooking at 1 a.m.
I put the pork roast into my Crock-Pot. Then, I lovingly added kimchi, leaf by leaf, using my chopsticks. Did I mention I own a couple shares of Amazon (NASDAQ: AMZN)?
Keeping Vampires Away
Gotta add garlic. It keeps vampires away. Vampires suck blood. They might bring bad luck to my apartment, too. Besides, garlic and Korean cooking go hand in hand.
My kimchi pork would be cooked the entire time at low heat. I poured just three cups of beef broth into the Crock-Pot. Around 3:50 a.m., however, the slow cooker looked dry.
Maybe the kimchi soaked up all the beef broth? Or maybe vampires mistook the broth, turned red by the kimchi, for blood? Anyways, I added two more cups of broth.
Eight Is Lucky Number
I had planned to cook the kimchi pork for eight hours. (“Eight” in Chinese is a homonym for “get rich” or “good fortune.” It’s pronounced faat.)
Instead, I over-slept and woke up around noon. So my kimchi pork ended up cooking for 11 hours.
The pork was super tender. The kimchi had melted into the broth, which tasted sour, salty and somewhat sweet. Tasty! I slurped down the soup and the noodles.
Kimchi Pork Can Boost Stock Prices
The dish was delicious, but did it work?
I ate my kimchi pork in April. My stock portfolio includes Amazon. On April Fool’s Day, Amazon’s price was around $370. When the stock market closed on July 24, the price was near $529. That’s a $159 difference.
So, my AMZN shares increased in value by 43 percent. Which means my kimchi pork worked! For a dish that cost $17.55 to make, it paid a pretty big dividend.
You should try it too. It might help you get a pay raise at work.
Costs of ingredients came out to $17.55. Here’s a breakdown.
- Tobagi-brand Kimchi, 29 oz.: $8.49
- 2 lb. Pork shoulder roast: $3.98 (was $7.98)
- Swanson beef broth 32. oz carton: $2.59
- Japanese udon: $2.49
The jar of kimchi was from Hmart, a Korean supermarket in New York City. Next time, I’ll add scallion, tofu and mushroom.